I need.

If you want to know what the hell this is all about please go read the most recent entry of Justin's blog... www.thelog.tk


1. Diane needs the numbers so we can keep our noses clean ...
2. Diane needs to find out the age, sex, and educational level of her target customers so that she can effectively market her services to them.
3. Diane needs a pigfoot and a bottle of beer, some reefer and some gin, and a crawlin' kingsnake..
4. Diane needs to apply herself more conscientiously
5. Diane needs no direct medical treatment for immediate survival, but is terminally ill.
6. Try not to be too critical of Diane's needs and desires, however inappropriate you may think them. You don't have to let them impinge on you
7. Diane needs our prayers
8. Diane needs assistance in paying her bills
9. Diane needs to meet with Doreen and set up security
10. "Diane needs to be more sexy and more out there," J. said, after noting that Diane had difficulty accentuating her voluptuous figure. ... (God, if only this were true!)
11. Diane needs to accept that moving here was a choice and so her expenses are tuition in the University of Life.
12. Diane needs to be out of there, she is definitely the spawn of satan
13. Diane needs a little discipline and a little training.
14. Diane needs to craft a story about her vision.
15. Diane needs to go talk to a Cowboy right now.
16. Diane needs bossing. Trust me.
17. Diane needs to be in the kitchen. Arrogant bitch.
18. Diane needs complete physical and dental exams, given the multiple health issues described above.
19. Diane needs help right now.

Hm. If you know me, enough said.
If not? Welcome to my world.

Poo Poo.

See the picture ? Funny, huh?
Notice the green eyes, they're significant. (It's a reference to the whole "green-eyed monster" cliche.) I call her "Jealous Janet". Justin must be given credit for this catchy cognomen. She is my namesake, after all. Touching.

(By the way... Since I think that my reader pool is expanding past 2 people...Justin is my most favorite significant other in the entire universe and this is his blog.)

So...
Sometimes when I've been described as possessing a certain trait, I look it up in the dictionary to find a loop hole in the definition (Merriam Webster Online). I succeed in rationalizing my way out of having the above mentioned attribute about 70% of the time. If I can't? Well, then I turn to the DSMIV. I look up the mental illness most commonly associated with that trait and quickly realize that I do not meet the criteria.

Referring to Jealous Janet...I waltzed right out of HER shoes. The first definition in the dictionary is: "Intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness". (Note: I will be disregarding definition B.) Hm. That doesn't seem so bad. I would say that it's very normal and productive to be intolerant of "one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess" or "not adhering to vows, allegiance, or duty." See? What was once bad has become good! I'll shout it to the hills!!! I AM INTOLERANT OF RIVALRY OR UNFAITHFULNESS!!!! WOOHOOOO!!!!!!! Justin most assuredly followed this same train of thought before calling me jealous. Right, Bub? :-)

In an old post, I commented that I only write a blog when appropriately inspired. I wrote this today because someone called me controlling and it's bugging the shit out of me.

Yummy.

Justin and I kinda made up a recipe together one day and I think that we've come pretty close to a pretty good chili. It's actually good for you. Well, the South Beach Diet man says so. For anyone who's doing that diet, this chili can be eaten constantly on Phase I (by my calculations).

Here's the recipe:

3lbs of ground beef or ground turkey (They're both good! Drain all the fatty shit off it!!)
1 REALLY big onion (I like to use the Vidalia kind cause they're expensive and that means they're better... right?)
1 bunch of hot peppers of whatever kind (this time I put in about 6 jalepenos.. WITH the seeds. If you don't like it hot, then I would just put in a couple anaheim peppers. Those are the flourescent green ones that look like sketchy green peppers.)
A big glob of minced garlic
About a half to 3/4 of a cup of chili powder (I buy the big vat of it at Sam's Club.)
Enough cumin powder to make a little mound in the palm of your hand
2 cans of black beans (with the juice)
2 cans of dark red kidney beans (with the juice)
2 big old cans of crushed tomatoes
1 regular size can of beef broth
.

Get a big pot 'cause this makes a lot.

1. Cut up the onions and peppers and cook them with the garlic in olive oil till they're kinda mushy.

2. Add the chili powder and cumin to it all and cook it for a few minutes.

3. Open all the cans of beans and stuff, then dump them all in the pot.

4. Then you add the ground beef, but make sure that you cook it first. I forgot that part and it should have been step number one. Whatever.

5. Stir it.

6. Put the burner on low/mediumish and cook it until it looks done. (The chili that I'm cooking right now has been on the stove for about an hour and it's not quite done. Oh, and also....Make sure you stir it often because it might burn to the bottom of the pot. That makes the finished product taste like shit.)

Usually I buy shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream to put on top. YUM.

My level of excitement about this post is unnaturally intense, but I gotta reap pleasure where I can...you know?

I fully realize that I have a very small audience, but if anyone out there stumbles upon my post, decides to try this, and likes it, let me know!

If you hate it that means that you screwed it up.


http://thehotpepper.com lol. This is funny. There certainly is something for everybody in this world. I think that I might join.
http://www.briansbelly.com/scovilles/primer/index.shtml Very informative!!

Cobwebs in my ears!

I had the urge to read my old posts. I really only like one of them...the one about my New Year's diet. The rest of them are obnoxious and wordy. Sorry 'bout that, folks.

And now.... In response to my diet resolution blog....

(Drum roll please)


I've gained about 25 lbs! Please, please.. no applause.
I'm not worried though. New Year's isn't far away.

I also noticed that I received an unsolicited comment from someone that I don't know. She likes my blog! Thanks :-) I sincerely appreciate that.

Later alligators.

Just a little something...

It was brought to my attention that I don't do well keeping my post updated.

Just for the record, I sign on everyday and review what I've written. It's not in my nature to be independently creative. The topics that I write about involve situations or thoughts that are actively invading my personal space. I write about them to set myself free.

So, bottom line: I won't force myself to write a post just because I haven't written one in a while. Hmpf. That being said...

Memories of college have been bombarding me over the past few weeks. I miss it like crazy. I miss the people. I've realized that there are friends scattered across the country that are as close as siblings. I am an asshole because I don't keep in touch with them. I would give anything to be awakened at 2pm on a Saturday by Jamie and Eric, go to Jack's Snack Shop in our pajamas, and then sit in bed smoking a joint. Life doesn't get much better than that...it could only get better by adding Justin to the scene.

I'm sitting at work right now. I can hear the traffic on I95 out the open window. It's just starting to get dark and I feel really displaced. I feel like I need to be sitting in the middle of an open field pulling up pieces of grass one by one.

Hm.

I just informed Justin that I am in a "free" mood tonight. I tried to explain this to him. All I could come up with was, "Actually...I feel in an honest mood. Meaning my reactions to others actions, not the other way around. I feel like I am feeling things honestly without my usual ration of bullshit piled on top." He said, "Huh. That's good." God BLESS him. Could anyone wonder why I love him so much?

Enjoy this with me...
http://www.scarysquirrel.org/

Excellent. Have a great day. :-)

Sunny Days, Sweeping the Clouds Aaaaway!

...On my way to where the air..Is...CLEAN! Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

I intend for this post to be a brief tribute to the Sesame Street I remember. The day that a Muppet with HIV debuted on the show was the day that Sesame Street died.

I found a "Which Sesame Street Character Are You Quiz" online today. Sigh. Yeah. I am Snuffalupagus. "Sometimes you get lonely, but you're a unique, special, one of a kind individual that no one could ever replace". I am very happy with that description. Solid Sesame Streetness.

Here's the link for the quiz: http://powersugoi.net/quiz/ssm.php I was hoping that I would test out as one of those "Brrrrrring yip yip yip" aliens. But then again being a unique, special, and irreplaceable person has it's perks. Ha.

My sister, Karen, took the test until she tested as Grover. I find this to be a tad like cheating... But then again, retaking the test with such innocence would be something that Grover most assuredly would do. NEAR................................................................................FAR

Here are the "Brrrrrring yip yip yip..telephone" Aliens. What, in God's name, children learned from them, we may never know. They look like deflated jellyfish but I can't say that I wouldn't enjoy having one as a pet... happiness would abound. I prefer the orange Alien. He looks much more inquisitive than the pink one. The pink one just looks bossy.