I need.

If you want to know what the hell this is all about please go read the most recent entry of Justin's blog... www.thelog.tk


1. Diane needs the numbers so we can keep our noses clean ...
2. Diane needs to find out the age, sex, and educational level of her target customers so that she can effectively market her services to them.
3. Diane needs a pigfoot and a bottle of beer, some reefer and some gin, and a crawlin' kingsnake..
4. Diane needs to apply herself more conscientiously
5. Diane needs no direct medical treatment for immediate survival, but is terminally ill.
6. Try not to be too critical of Diane's needs and desires, however inappropriate you may think them. You don't have to let them impinge on you
7. Diane needs our prayers
8. Diane needs assistance in paying her bills
9. Diane needs to meet with Doreen and set up security
10. "Diane needs to be more sexy and more out there," J. said, after noting that Diane had difficulty accentuating her voluptuous figure. ... (God, if only this were true!)
11. Diane needs to accept that moving here was a choice and so her expenses are tuition in the University of Life.
12. Diane needs to be out of there, she is definitely the spawn of satan
13. Diane needs a little discipline and a little training.
14. Diane needs to craft a story about her vision.
15. Diane needs to go talk to a Cowboy right now.
16. Diane needs bossing. Trust me.
17. Diane needs to be in the kitchen. Arrogant bitch.
18. Diane needs complete physical and dental exams, given the multiple health issues described above.
19. Diane needs help right now.

Hm. If you know me, enough said.
If not? Welcome to my world.

Poo Poo.

See the picture ? Funny, huh?
Notice the green eyes, they're significant. (It's a reference to the whole "green-eyed monster" cliche.) I call her "Jealous Janet". Justin must be given credit for this catchy cognomen. She is my namesake, after all. Touching.

(By the way... Since I think that my reader pool is expanding past 2 people...Justin is my most favorite significant other in the entire universe and this is his blog.)

So...
Sometimes when I've been described as possessing a certain trait, I look it up in the dictionary to find a loop hole in the definition (Merriam Webster Online). I succeed in rationalizing my way out of having the above mentioned attribute about 70% of the time. If I can't? Well, then I turn to the DSMIV. I look up the mental illness most commonly associated with that trait and quickly realize that I do not meet the criteria.

Referring to Jealous Janet...I waltzed right out of HER shoes. The first definition in the dictionary is: "Intolerant of rivalry or unfaithfulness". (Note: I will be disregarding definition B.) Hm. That doesn't seem so bad. I would say that it's very normal and productive to be intolerant of "one of two or more striving to reach or obtain something that only one can possess" or "not adhering to vows, allegiance, or duty." See? What was once bad has become good! I'll shout it to the hills!!! I AM INTOLERANT OF RIVALRY OR UNFAITHFULNESS!!!! WOOHOOOO!!!!!!! Justin most assuredly followed this same train of thought before calling me jealous. Right, Bub? :-)

In an old post, I commented that I only write a blog when appropriately inspired. I wrote this today because someone called me controlling and it's bugging the shit out of me.